Death - I don't want to believe the fact

11 Sep. 2014 - I was working in my office when my mobile phone vibrated, it was an sms. First, I thought that I'll see that in Lunch break as I was in hurry to complete my office work. But than unintentionally I took my mobile and opened the inbox. Message was from an unknown number. I pressed green button again and I wished that I'd never done this. 

I wished I could make it a recently received message again and never open it or may this message was on April fool (although I'm not a fan of April fool event) because it brings one of the most most sad news of my Life. 

Jawaria Saifullah, my beloved team in-charge (IT team, Jamaat-e-Islami Punjab) passed away, I couldn't believe the fact. I was like: it could be a wrong news (as some wrong number gave the wrong news to my cousin that I fell and injured badly, and she was asking me and I said I'm fine) so I thought it could be the same case or I just didn't want to believe that and deceiving myself indeed. But here comes another message with the same news, and another and another (So many people can't tell a lie)

But I still don't want to believe it ....

She is (I don't want to write "was" with her)  like a teacher (spiritual mother) a kind friend, a gentle guide, an active moral support and much more to me. She was the person I met the very first day I entered the Jamaat-e-Islami's IT circle in Mansoorah.

It was a social media workshop I came to attend. I'm basically a very reserved person and I was worried about how I'll communicate with all the strangers there, but still I reached Mansoorah to attend the workshop and there she was, with kind, soft and friendly voice to welcome me despite all her duties and busy schedule as she was the in-charge. I could feel her welcoming, sweet and friendly smile even under her covered face, for the first time in my life I came close to someone so fast.

Working with her was always awesome and relation with her was like rainbow, no weight, no burden but beauty and colors. Although I know her from one and a half year but I feel that affections are much older than that. 

I don't know how it will be working in IT Team without her from now on ..... but I pray that She gets the best place in Jannah and her grave fill with fragrance and light.

Even though I still don't want to believe the fact.